It surprised me that the world would mourn and cry over this man that they hardly knew. But as the weeks go by, more and more I learn of this man – the entertainer, the man and child that he was and mostly the humanitarian that he was, made me feel so ashame of all the nasty jokes and comments I’ve made about this man. I know now that it was so inappropriate and disrespectful. It saddens me to read these comments online. Even after his death they wouldn’t stop. Everyone has something smart to say. I just wish that they’d at least think of his family. We can only hope that the world would listen to Marlon Jackson and finally ‘leave him alone’.

I never thought I’d cry for Michael Jackson but i did, watching his memorial service. Truly, no matter what his personal life was, the world has lost a great entertainer and more over a humanitarian. As I learn the life of this man, the words of Don McLean come to mind:

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they’ll listen now.

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
But I could have told you, Michael,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

It is sad to know that this ugly and cynical world could not understand and accept a man, who through all his struggles, found comfort in approaching the world with the purity and wide-eye wonder of a child. By deviating from the norm, the world isolated and mocked him. Yet, even after all that, this man still believed that world can be made beautiful and he worked at it relentlessly through his music and humanitarian works.

Perhaps the world really missed the greatest comeback of all time.

Three months ago, his father was diagnosed with cancer. We made attempts to visit him in the hospital but everytime we plan to go, someone told us that was better and was at home. We even saw him a couple of times in church.

So everytime i see the young boy, i would ask him how was his father. He’d say that his father was fine and was resting at home.

Two weeks ago, we heard that his father fell sick again. The cancer has spread to his collar bone. He was in and out of the hospital that week. At the end of the week, i asked Jared again about his father. Jared said that his father was at home resting.

And then he said one thing that i will never ever forget:

“I’ve ask you guys to come and visit us so many times but you didn’t come.”

At that point, i could only keep quiet. I didn’t know what to say.

So I made plans with Greg to visit the boy and his father that week. But somehow, all our discussions didnt work out.

Last Friday, we received a call from a friend saying that Jared’s father was in the hospital again. And this time, it was pretty serious. They even ask if we could inform a priest to give him the last rites. We were shocked that it has come to this. So we made plans to visit him the next day.

On sat morning, a friend called us and said that Jared’s father was in the special care unit and we can’t just simply visit him. So our friend told us that we can only visit him at 2pm on Sunday.

But on Sat night, we receive the call. Jared’s father has passed away.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I went to his funeral today. Looking at the poor boy and his mother crying brought tears to my eyes. As i sat and listen to the homily, my mind went back to when i first met them and the many attempts that i made ‘trying’ to visit him when he was sick. I realise that i took for granted that i could always visit him the next day if i cant make it today. I took for granted that there will always be another day. I failed to realise how fragile life is.

This will be one regret that i will carry with me for the rest of my life.

This is a lesson that i’ve learnt.

Never take life for granted. Never say that there will be another day.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

In memory of Jared’s father.

May he rest in peace with our Lord for eternity.

Amen.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day.”

John 6:40

]]> http://elephantsandme.wordpress.com/2009/06/08/regret/feed/ 2 Elly-Pei Shin http://elephantsandme.wordpress.com/2009/06/06/lost-children/ http://elephantsandme.wordpress.com/2009/06/06/lost-children/#comments Sat, 06 Jun 2009 01:31:48 +0000 Elizabeth http://elephantsandme.wordpress.com/?p=406 ]]> This one’s for All the Lost Children. Wishing them well, wishing them Home.

Say a Prayer today for all the lost children. May God always be with them.

In memory all of the Lost Children

Thank God for all those who have been found.

Continue to pray for those that haven’t.

*** Images taken from various website. Thank you.

And i quote youtube:

“In 2007, Zee Avi began uploading her music to YouTube from her hometown in Malaysia. A year later, she was flown to L.A. to record her debut CD. Enjoy an exclusive acoustic mini-concert from this songstress, along with special video blog greeting to fans.”

From Wikipedia:

“Zee Avi (also known as KokoKaina) is a Malaysian singer-songwriter and musician. She was born in Miri, Sarawak. Her song “No Christmas For Me” is featured on Brushfire Records’s 2008 Christmas album This Warm December. She was discovered as a result of years of posting videos on youtube under the moniker KokoKaina. Her single “Bitter Heart” is currently available on the US iTunes store, and her full self-titled debut album will follow on May 19, 2009.”

I guess dreams do come true.

Dream on

As i listen to “The Call” by Regina Spektor, a bitter-sweet feeling swept over me. I don’t know its because of the flu and fever or just one of those days. My mind brought me back to my hometown. The days when i used to walk everywhere, without a car. The times i spent with my friends chilling out at the beach in the evening, sometimes..well, most of the time, singing. We were like a walking 24/7 choir. School. So many memories there. Going to morning mass, chatting at the chapel, choir, prefect painting, just chatting and laughing our heads off in class. Everyday we get to meet. Every single day we were surrounded by friends.

How did age catch up so quickly?

Just like that, i have been living in this city for 5 years. A place that i have yet to call my home.

Home is still the place thousand of miles away, over the great South China Sea. But somehow, when i went back. My uncle made a remark. I felt cold afterward. Dumbfounded.

My aunt was asking me about plans for the future. I said i wasn’t sure. She asked when i was coming back for good. My uncle interrupted and said, “What do you mean come back? She’s a KL girl now.” Am I? Am I really a KL girl now? I don’t know. I’ll admit most of the things i want to achieve wont bring me back to miri. But i really really really REALLY miss life in miri. Really. Going back for a holiday even for month wont suffice, i think.

Sighs. Life’s like that.

I guess Miri will be when i retire. Maybe. Or Ireland. Haha. Maybe Greece. One of those gorgeous island. *wishful*

On a different note, i absolutely LOVE.. LOVE.. LOVE those wedding dresses in “Bride wars” and “Sex and the City”.. esp Vera Wang.. Gorgeous! Amazing!  Not that i have plans to get married..yet… But it would be nice to do a shoot like the one that Sarah Jessica Parker did for Vogue. Gorgeous! Makes all the one that i’ve seen locally look so so so so miserable.

Vera Wang in Bride Wars.

And from the ‘city’…

My favourite! Viviene Westwood

Another Vera Wang!

Gorgeous, right?

Is it good?

I looked up and saw this guy, erm.. not a local. I think he’s from Nigeria.

So i replied “Yes, its very fresh.”

After a moment of silence,

He: “Are you alone?”

I was very alarmed by the question, so i lied

Me: “No, i’m not alone.”

He: “Where is he?”

I suppose he assumed that i was with my boyfriend.

Me: “He’s outside waiting for me.”

He: “Why? He must come in and be with you.”

After another silence, i was about ready to run off with the 2-3 chicken wings that i picked,

He: “You’re very pretty. Can you be my friend? “

Without looking up,

Me: “Sorry, i’m busy. Gotta go.”

and i quickly rush to the weighing counter.

He: “Never mind, i will give you my number.”

Still following me quite closely, he decided to give me his number in a piece of paper.I kept trying to run away but he kept following me. So just to make him go away, i took the paper and when he left, i threw it in my shopping bag.

After weighing the chicken, i proceed to the cashier. But before i could reach the counter,

He: “Where is the paper? Did you throw it away?”

By then, i was so panicky, i just turn away and said

Me: “its in the bag”

At the counter, as i was paying, i saw him loitering about, maybe waiting for me or looking for some other girls. I was so worried because i’d parked my car on the rooftop parking. I was cursing myself for not parking in the open lot outside, where everyone can see me get into my car.

So after paying, i hesitantly walk to my car. I thought of asking one of the female security guard to accompany me to my car but on the way, i couldn’t find anyone. Then i saw quite alot of people going up to the parking lot, so i thought maybe i would be safe walking with them.

But on the way to my car, at the second floor, i saw him again. He looked at me and smiled. I tried to remain calm and walk towards the escalator. To my delight, he did not get up and follow me. Thank God that i managed to get into my car without any more incident!

After everything, i realise some mistakes i made. I should have said “No, i’m not available’ when he asked if i could be his friend. Or i shouldn’t have entertain him at all. But my worry was, if i treat him rudely, he might just do something. I really don’t know how to react in this kind of situation.

Someone please advise.